1. Ugh, file this one under Surely Burning in Hell: The AP obtained a videotape of Hormel hog industry workers abusing, and talking about sexually abusing, sows and piglets. Yeah, there’s not much I could say other than HELP FUND ONGOING INVESTIGATIONS AND RESCUES HERE.

2. Ellen DeGeneres is the newest Cover Girl.

3. As a faithful Facebook user since 2004, I’ve stuck with it through what seems like a million redesigns. I’ll stick with it through this new design, and chances are you will too. And so, to the general whiny public I say: Stop complaining and quit joining online protest groups. And, while you’re at it, go visit your grandparents or something. We all have other stuff to worry about …

4. … like whether this dude was OK after diving into a 12 inch deep kiddie pool. on Jimmy Kimmel Live.

5. Young@Heart, a documentary that follows the lives of a New England choir of senior citizens covering the music of Sonic Youth, James Brown, Coldplay and others, came out on DVD yesterday. I can’t wait to rent it. You can pay tribute to your own favorite ageless wonder (and learn more about the doc) here.