The title of this post is pretty self-explanatory. Like everyone else, I’m broke. I am sick of trying to think of nifty gift ideas, so I would just like to bestow unto you all a list of great ways to waste your time during the holiday season. Better than any gift, really, depending on how your day is going. Enjoy!

This holiday season, you can …

… catch up with some undeserving household names. Check out this list of “40 Greatest Lost Icons in Pop Culture History” if you too lay awake at night wondering what happened to such characters as Steve Bartman (the interfering Cubs fan) and Bob Barker’s bevy of spray-tanned Beauties.

… find out how Tina Fey received her mysterious facial scar — and don’t act like you’re not curious — by reading this Vanity Fair article.

… pick out an ugly sweater for your holiday party needs here.

… build your own beard … of the facial hair variety.

… host a virtual dance party — as an elf.